Headspins.

Enough to do your head in.

Singing In The Rain

All good things must come to an end; and like all big storms, this one started with just one raindrop.

In a moment of weakness I text messaged The Britt; was his interest in me was purely physical, or did he wanted more? He’d been sending rather mixed messages for 3 weeks now and, never one to play games, I needed to know where we stood. In his ever-evasive English way, rather than answer me, he called and we chatted about everything other than sex. I guess that means he wants more…?

Arriving in Miami was a breath of fresh air, all puns intended. Although I was there for work, it was still a relief from the stress of the past few months. Very unexpectedly The Ex emailed me advising he would be in New York ‘very, very soon.’ Lovely, as I had just left.

Fortunately or unfortunately (no one really knows) I would be returning to the city the same day The Ex was to arrive. Through our classic witty banter I learn he is no longer with his girlfriend… and through chatting with my ever-gossiping Mum, discover he has informed his mother that he is coming to New York is to visit me. Okay…?

Miami had me running from party to show and back again, but it was not lost on me that The Artist must be there somewhere; which is exactly when I received his text. Later that night we crossed paths at The Interview Mag party at The Delano. He looked unbelievably hot and I was dying to get my hands on him.

Apparently he felt the same, because at 2AM with ditched our friends for wild sex in his penthouse apartment on the water. The Artist was just as rough as I remembered and even more hungry. His hands and teeth left more than his usual mark, making for a slightly awkward day, laying poolside. My nipples were seriously bruised and I wasn’t exactly sure how I would explain that to The Britt, should he ever call me again.

Just when I thought that nothing else could possibly arise, I received an email that was long overdue. The Photographer, the first man I’d been with after The Ex, my first ‘friend’ in New York; we’d been through so much, yet nothing at all over the past 2 ½ years. To be honest, I never thought things would have carried on this far.

It was strange to find myself happy reading his thoughtfully crafted note; he may have been more surprised by my response than I was. “I am so proud of you,” pushing the buttons on my blackberry I told him I would always be there for him as his friend.

Since the moment we met I knew he was lost; finally he'd caught up to speed and wanted to do something about it. I only want the best for him, so of course, even though hot tears rolled down my cheeks, I was happy for him. My tears were selfish; I knew we would never really be friends and it broke a tiny piece of my heart to lose someone like him.

Back to The Delano for my last Miami dinner, The Britt called my mobile. Caught off guard and completely surprised, I answered. I think this really could be something after all.

They say there is a calm before the storm; perhaps I was just too busy with the pace of the city to have noticed it. 

Two Hearts Beating: Together?

After reading, The Decline of Men by noted author, journalist and entrepreneur, Guy Garcia, I took a long sip of my wine and let it sink in. Feminism was never about becoming greater than men, it was about becoming their equal; somewhere along the line, the rise of female success had led men to feel inadequate.

I could not help but feel a twinge of depression, did this mean that I would never find my partner in crime? Was all hope of finding my equal now lost? The only thing I could do was track Mr. Garcia down and find out; was all hope lost, or would men eventually be able to find a new sense of self?

His answer? A little from column 'A' and a little from column 'B'.


Chloe: As a male journalist specializing in socio-economic market research, what is the most notable shift you’ve witnessed, since the start of your career in the early 80’s, in terms of female attitude and behavior?    

Guy Garcia: Female attitude and behavior has become more complex as women continue to rise as a gender. Their options in education, work and social life continue to expand, which has made their lives more fulfilling but also more complicated. As men’s social and employment options shrink, women are more and more likely to be a co-income contributor, or increasingly, the main breadwinner. As women become better educated and financially independent, the pool of men that they respect or deem worthy of being with will continue to shrink.


C: As per your novel, The Decline of Men, women have a better success rate when it comes to our modern day social structures (ironic as I believe it was men who created these norms). Do you feel that young men are doomed to be less successful than their female counterparts? Or is it the late 30 and 40 year old's of today who will fall victim to the societal changes of women? 

GG: First of all, The Decline of Men is non-fiction business/sociology. It’s true that women are better suited for the 21st century economy, which favors communication and people skills that give women an innate edge over men. In 2010, women outnumbered men in the workforce for the first time in U.S. history. Also, with women making up more than 60% of all college students in America, it’s only a matter of time before women pull ahead of men in terms of overall earning power. It is indeed ironic that the socio-economic structures that men built—and the very machines that make their muscles irrelevant and obsolete—no longer favor the male gender. The traditional definition of males and why they matter is obsolete and as a society we are still groping for what will replace it.


C: Men like the idea of me, but most don’t really like me. As a young, modern woman, my bold sexual presence excites men at first, but tends to leave them feeling disappointed later. Do you see men and women ever hitting equilibrium? Why does society tend to put us against each other?

GG: Society still tells men that they should be dominant, strong, decisive, etc.  In the workplace and public life, women were in a supportive role, although the female rule of domestic life had its own power. Now women are competing with men for jobs and socio-political clout, yet men have not replaced women as the domestic decider, which includes most household purchases.  Nowadays it’s little girls who are told they should grow up to be fearless, strong, smart, financially independent; as a gender they are in ascent, even as males stall or decline. Men will always be physically attracted to females, but their role in the relationship is no longer so clear. Some guys are ok in the supportive role, other are not. Some women are ok with men that are tame and submissive, but women of all ages complain to me that they can’t find “real guys.”  Guys used to use money and power to lure and impress women, now they use Axe and shave their bodies.  Leveraging physical attractiveness to balance power with the opposite sex is a strategy that men have learned from women.  A lot of young guys aren’t sure they can afford to pick up the dinner tab, let alone support a wife and family. As a result, the gratification of immediate pleasure replaces the rewards of long-term commitment.


C: From an early age the discussion of career and family seems to play a role in the conversations of young girls. Will society reach a point where both men and women will have the ‘choice’ to stay home with the kids or work, and why?

GG: Men are staying home now, but it’s not to raise the kids, it’s because they lost their jobs. In Sweden, the government is mandating maternity leave—paternity leave?—for men.  As women take on more demanding jobs we’ll see more gender-neutral flexibility in the workforce, but the percentage of guys who willingly take on roles previously delegated to women is still very small.  For now many women find themselves doing the work of both genders: holding down a job – and still making dinner, cleaning the house and making sure the kids have clean clothes for school, etc.  Telling guys that they are now free to be housewives is not very liberating; until a truly new definition of masculinity evolves to replace the outdated one, you’re going to see more male confusion, resentment and disengagement.


C: Do you believe that the future success of men is directly linked to the success of women? Or is the ‘decline of men’ a much larger statement about my generation as a whole?

GG: Men and women are inextricably linked. Their fates and desires are intertwined and always will be. Treating the genders as two separate entities misses the point. Half the population slacking off, losing its way and falling behind is a problem for society as a whole, and the solution will come only from men and women facing the facts and redefining the future together. The interesting question to me is: as women replace men in the upper echelons, will they keep the structures and systems built by males or transform them into something completely new and different?

Meet The Men of So I Met This Guy...

CLICK HERE

Everything you ever wanted to know about The Men in my life, can be discovered through our lusty affairs... Enjoy.

Are You Chloe?

Chloe is an educated, hard working, loving, sexual creature; who takes pride in everything she does.

She is the woman who defies expectations and societal norms in exchange for what feels right to her. She doesn’t judge others.

Chloe knows how to make herself happy and doesn't rely on others to enjoy life.

Chloe doesn't let the fear of failing stand in her way. She wants successes for herself and those around her.

Chloe takes the time to find the beauty in everyday. She knows loneliness and chose to fulfill herself, rather than wait for someone else to please her.

She wants to find her partner in crime, someone to push her to be the best she can; someone who she can push to be their best. The couple that no one can take their eyes off of because they make each other even better.

Chloe doesn't want everlasting passionate love, she wants someone who she respects and in turn who respects her. For Chloe, the most important thing is mutual respect and admiration. 

Chloe is the ability to be true to yourself, she is the voice of this generation, the marker of something much bigger. She is the new woman.

Chloe is the answer to the 'Sex and The City' generation before us.

Chloe is not only me, she is YOU.

Best Dressed: America's New 'IT' Color

Every click of a link, or flip of the magazine page we are bombarded with yet another, "BEST DRESSED" list and Vogue.com is no exception. Let's be real for .2 seconds; 'best dressed' has nothing to do with style and everything to do with status and fame.

Point in case, today on Vogue.com 'Best Dressed'; Lady Gaga ahead by 3000 votes, followed by Blake Lively (aka Gossip Girl) who's ahead by 600. Fashion darlings Alexa Chung and Liya Kebede are far more chic than say, M. Obama, yet trail way behind due to their lower celebrity ranking. 

Perhaps IMDB should get their star meter rankings from the best dressed lists? The only purpose for these seemingly useless polls is to allow readers to feel like their opinions matters. Listen, if your opinion actually mattered you'd be writing for the magazine, not reading it for tips on, 'How to Wear Red: Fall's IT Color'.

P.S. Fall 2010 is about the high-waisted, wide leg pant. Just saying.    

Picture 'Perfect'

I can't help but go crazy for artist, Michelle Thompson. Her combination of imagery, color, use of line and space, creates dynamic, three-dimensional visuals. Each piece poses a reflective and thoughtful answer to the questions about our society today. For your viewing pleasure, I've included a few of my favorites. (Anyone wanting to get me a holiday gift, I'll take one of each.)