Reality Check

 

Everyone wants to know, ‘Who is the real Chloe?’ Sit back and listen because I am about to tell you.

There is nothing more real than being 5 years old and having to explain to your friend why your parents are fighting. There is nothing more real than having your high school crush die of a heart attack, when you are still in high school. There is nothing more real than losing your role model in a car accident and having two friends murdered by the time you are half way through your first year of university. There is nothing more real than your family losing their fortune and being told, ‘you should have had more.’

There is nothing more real, than real life.

I never understood why I had to go through so many traumatizing things. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. I do know that everything in my past has made me exactly who I am at this moment, and as much as it nearly killed me to get here, I am happy with the person I have become.

We sat on the black leather stools at the bar. The Editor was high, the drugs racing through his veins.  My hands were shaking as I attempted a sip of vodka. I had never seen him like this; he was stumbling, stuttering and slurring.

He looked at me and I finally asked the question we both knew was coming, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Looking downward he shrugged, for the first time since we’d met he seemed at a loss for words. “I didn’t want you to be mad.” I was in shock. Mad!? Was he serious? How on earth do you get mad at someone for having an addiction? I kissed his lips, feeling his hands tighten around my waist. We stood at the bar, arms around each other; the room was full of the usual Monday night bar crowd but it felt like it was just the two of us there.

It broke my heart to hear his response. Why are people so consumed with judging others for their actions? There was obviously something he could not cope with if he turned to drugs in such a way. We stood with our bodies pressed together and I knew it would be the last time I saw him. All I could do was be there for him, but first he needed to be there for himself.

Good Vibrations

"Your ass is not a cul-de-sac, things can get lost up there!" My girlfriend was laughing as she recounted her disaster of a morning. Still half asleep, my eyes flickered open as she continued; a horrifying story about a mini  pocket-rocket lodged (and then lost) you know where...

I absolutely adore that my friends call me with their madness, fully knowing I will never make them feel embarrassed or ashamed. People spend too much time worrying about how others will receive them; they forget to focus on how something makes them feel.

Everyday, everything I do is for me. I do not worry about pleasing others, or meeting any expectations other than my own. Let go of what people told you to think and start thinking for yourself. Know that if you want to make something happen you can and don't let anything or anyone stand in your way. 

Working Girl

Iron Man was back in New York, The Firefighter was emailing me out of the blue and The Director was sending scandalous texts. All the while I fantasized about my next meeting with The Business Man. What next, The Editor was going to crawl out of rehab? Ahh-hem, I mean, the woodwork?

My phone was blowing up, handsome, sexy, stylish men all eager to please. Even with all my options, The Business Man was the only one I cared to hear from. It’s rare to find a man that ‘gets’ you and still fully wants you; I had found one and now he was all I could think about.

My fantasies were running wild and my real life was eager to catch up. I’d imagine us lying in bed facing each other, our bodies pressed together. He would have his hands on my hips, moving them over my ass, pulling me closer so I could feel how excited he was. Our lips would touch and we’d kiss slowly savoring every second until we couldn’t take it another minute.

The Business Man would push me onto my back and force my legs apart, pushing himself inside me. Moaning uncontrollably, I would dig my nails into his shoulders, begging him to take me harder. We’d tease each other until we both let go and devoured one another. Breathless and exhausted we’d lay in bed until we couldn’t stand the thought of not fucking again.

The vibration from my Blackberry snapped me back to reality. In bed alone, I read his message which put a smile on my lips; The Business Man was not only scoring points as my leading fantasy man but his messages made me want him even more.

Putting my phone down I let out a sigh, exhausted from allowing my mind to run wild.With just a second before my morning conference call I had just enough time to catch my breath and dial in. The dial tone clicked in and it was hard not to laugh to myself; if only the people on the other line knew what I had been up to in preparation for the call.

Not exactly the due diligence they probably had in mind.

Tip of The Week: The Guy is a total BONER

It's most unpleasant to be in a situations where The Guy is complaining (read: mentions it at all) that condoms are expensive. Never having a problem handling this myself, I realized that other women do; hence my new Monday endeavor, "Tip of The Week".

If The Guy mentions the cost of condoms, I tend to look overly annoyed and say, "I'm sorry, I thought you liked that we had lots of sex... Besides, child support costs way more than that." 

At this point, unless the sex is really fantastic I would usually get up and walk away. If the sex is really amazing, I'd consider taking him one last time before abandoning ship.

GUEST BLOGGER - DESIREE

"As most of you know, I am not the only woman who thinks about sex like I do. In fact if you are a women and reading this right now, you probably relate to my stories and adventures in one way or another. Every now and again I am going to be turning over the reins to a guest blogger and today is the first. Let's Call her Desiree. " - Chloe Is My Alias

Filled with Desire
Edited by Chloe Is My Alias 

I don't believe in dating, especially the online kind. That being said, for me Facebook is a whole different story.

He was handsome enough to the point I really thought he could be gay, so when he asked to meet for a drink to discuss business there was no reason to say no, even if the whole thing was via instant messenger on Facebook. We met two days later at my favorite LES bar.

The place was mobbed as usual and I headed for the bar. Dressed all in black, a leather jacket and leather boots; I could have passed for having my bike parked outside.

Leaning against the bar I let him admire the way my dark jeans made my ass look even more round and perfect; he recognized me right away and called out my name. I glanced to my left; he was sitting, dressed in motorbike gear too. Let’s call him BFE.

It took one drink and 20 minutes to know that we had to have each other, right there, right then.

We left the bar; I had an event and as neither of us had any intention on going home alone, I asked him to join me. We kissed feverishly at the corner of the street; BFE grabbed my hair and pulled hard. I could feel how badly he wanted me.

At the event we tucked ourselves into a dark corner. Standing in the shadow I ran my leg up and down the inside of his, just barely grazing the edge of his crotch. I dug my tongue deep into his throat and could feel him grow even bigger.

He had me wild; my heart was pounding and I was feeling hot. I had to have him, right now.

Grabbing his hand I led him through the exit, the cold spring air hit us hard, but nothing could cool us off. Around the corner he pushed me into the entranceway of an old building.

Unzipping his pants BFE then pushed me down on him. He was even bigger than I had thought and with every lick and suck he grew even more. The way he tasted, I couldn’t get enough of him. 

Just as he was ready to explode deep into my throat, we heard someone coming down the stairs. BFE grabbed me by my throat and with his strong hand pulled me up off the ground. Pinned between him and the wall we starred deep into each other’s eyes. Without so much as a word I left.  A taxi had pulled around the corner and I jumped in, leaving him there in the dark corner full of unsatisfied desire.

My breath was heavy in the car ride home; I could only imagine what was going to happen when I saw him next. 

Business with Pleasure

Every so often you’ll meet someone and there is this unspoken understanding that you both want each other; nothing is going to come between you and ripping your clothes off. 

We sat across from each other on the back patio at The Bowery Hotel discussing business; he was the key piece to getting this charity project to the next level and I wasn’t taking no for an answer. Let's call him The Business Man.

There was something about the way he looked at me when I spoke that turned me on like nothing else; it make me want to lean across the table, slide my hands up his thighs and kiss him. It took every ounce of will power not to slide my tongue through his lips, grazing my teeth over his tongue; kissing him so deeply. 

I was aching to feel his hands pulling me closer, touching my hair, my legs and my waist. His hands looked amazing; I wanted them all over me, I wanted his fingers pushing inside me. I wanted him to bring me over the edge right then and there.

His voice snapped me back to reality; he was agreeing to take on the project. We clinked our glasses and I took an extra long sip, eyeing him over the top of my flute. I couldn’t help myself; I had to have him.

“Now that we have the business out of the way, would it be terrible if I kissed you right now?” The Business Man grinned and motioned me to come closer.

I couldn’t wait see if his kiss was as delicious as I had imagined and if his hands were as good.

A Preview of Next Week...

For most people summer is a time where they let go of their cares, inhibitions and worries; it’s a free for all fuck-fest that usually ends when the first cold breeze sweeps across our fair city post Labor Day weekend. For me this summer was anything but and I found myself sticking with the tried and true; The Photographer, as well as that brief stint with Dating Guy… which was only for a hot second and let’s be honest, it wasn’t that hot. 

The point? I was in need of living it up again; letting go of the worries The Editor had caused me all July and August. There was a secret new man I had my eye on and it was my intention to have my way with him, but not before The Photographer and I finally had the threesome we had desired all summer...

Stay-tuned next week to see how ends.