Headspins.

Enough to do your head in.

Singing In The Rain

All good things must come to an end; and like all big storms, this one started with just one raindrop.

In a moment of weakness I text messaged The Britt; was his interest in me was purely physical, or did he wanted more? He’d been sending rather mixed messages for 3 weeks now and, never one to play games, I needed to know where we stood. In his ever-evasive English way, rather than answer me, he called and we chatted about everything other than sex. I guess that means he wants more…?

Arriving in Miami was a breath of fresh air, all puns intended. Although I was there for work, it was still a relief from the stress of the past few months. Very unexpectedly The Ex emailed me advising he would be in New York ‘very, very soon.’ Lovely, as I had just left.

Fortunately or unfortunately (no one really knows) I would be returning to the city the same day The Ex was to arrive. Through our classic witty banter I learn he is no longer with his girlfriend… and through chatting with my ever-gossiping Mum, discover he has informed his mother that he is coming to New York is to visit me. Okay…?

Miami had me running from party to show and back again, but it was not lost on me that The Artist must be there somewhere; which is exactly when I received his text. Later that night we crossed paths at The Interview Mag party at The Delano. He looked unbelievably hot and I was dying to get my hands on him.

Apparently he felt the same, because at 2AM with ditched our friends for wild sex in his penthouse apartment on the water. The Artist was just as rough as I remembered and even more hungry. His hands and teeth left more than his usual mark, making for a slightly awkward day, laying poolside. My nipples were seriously bruised and I wasn’t exactly sure how I would explain that to The Britt, should he ever call me again.

Just when I thought that nothing else could possibly arise, I received an email that was long overdue. The Photographer, the first man I’d been with after The Ex, my first ‘friend’ in New York; we’d been through so much, yet nothing at all over the past 2 ½ years. To be honest, I never thought things would have carried on this far.

It was strange to find myself happy reading his thoughtfully crafted note; he may have been more surprised by my response than I was. “I am so proud of you,” pushing the buttons on my blackberry I told him I would always be there for him as his friend.

Since the moment we met I knew he was lost; finally he'd caught up to speed and wanted to do something about it. I only want the best for him, so of course, even though hot tears rolled down my cheeks, I was happy for him. My tears were selfish; I knew we would never really be friends and it broke a tiny piece of my heart to lose someone like him.

Back to The Delano for my last Miami dinner, The Britt called my mobile. Caught off guard and completely surprised, I answered. I think this really could be something after all.

They say there is a calm before the storm; perhaps I was just too busy with the pace of the city to have noticed it.