Headspins.

Enough to do your head in.

Singing In The Rain

All good things must come to an end; and like all big storms, this one started with just one raindrop.

In a moment of weakness I text messaged The Britt; was his interest in me was purely physical, or did he wanted more? He’d been sending rather mixed messages for 3 weeks now and, never one to play games, I needed to know where we stood. In his ever-evasive English way, rather than answer me, he called and we chatted about everything other than sex. I guess that means he wants more…?

Arriving in Miami was a breath of fresh air, all puns intended. Although I was there for work, it was still a relief from the stress of the past few months. Very unexpectedly The Ex emailed me advising he would be in New York ‘very, very soon.’ Lovely, as I had just left.

Fortunately or unfortunately (no one really knows) I would be returning to the city the same day The Ex was to arrive. Through our classic witty banter I learn he is no longer with his girlfriend… and through chatting with my ever-gossiping Mum, discover he has informed his mother that he is coming to New York is to visit me. Okay…?

Miami had me running from party to show and back again, but it was not lost on me that The Artist must be there somewhere; which is exactly when I received his text. Later that night we crossed paths at The Interview Mag party at The Delano. He looked unbelievably hot and I was dying to get my hands on him.

Apparently he felt the same, because at 2AM with ditched our friends for wild sex in his penthouse apartment on the water. The Artist was just as rough as I remembered and even more hungry. His hands and teeth left more than his usual mark, making for a slightly awkward day, laying poolside. My nipples were seriously bruised and I wasn’t exactly sure how I would explain that to The Britt, should he ever call me again.

Just when I thought that nothing else could possibly arise, I received an email that was long overdue. The Photographer, the first man I’d been with after The Ex, my first ‘friend’ in New York; we’d been through so much, yet nothing at all over the past 2 ½ years. To be honest, I never thought things would have carried on this far.

It was strange to find myself happy reading his thoughtfully crafted note; he may have been more surprised by my response than I was. “I am so proud of you,” pushing the buttons on my blackberry I told him I would always be there for him as his friend.

Since the moment we met I knew he was lost; finally he'd caught up to speed and wanted to do something about it. I only want the best for him, so of course, even though hot tears rolled down my cheeks, I was happy for him. My tears were selfish; I knew we would never really be friends and it broke a tiny piece of my heart to lose someone like him.

Back to The Delano for my last Miami dinner, The Britt called my mobile. Caught off guard and completely surprised, I answered. I think this really could be something after all.

They say there is a calm before the storm; perhaps I was just too busy with the pace of the city to have noticed it. 

Two Hearts Beating: Together?

After reading, The Decline of Men by noted author, journalist and entrepreneur, Guy Garcia, I took a long sip of my wine and let it sink in. Feminism was never about becoming greater than men, it was about becoming their equal; somewhere along the line, the rise of female success had led men to feel inadequate.

I could not help but feel a twinge of depression, did this mean that I would never find my partner in crime? Was all hope of finding my equal now lost? The only thing I could do was track Mr. Garcia down and find out; was all hope lost, or would men eventually be able to find a new sense of self?

His answer? A little from column 'A' and a little from column 'B'.


Chloe: As a male journalist specializing in socio-economic market research, what is the most notable shift you’ve witnessed, since the start of your career in the early 80’s, in terms of female attitude and behavior?    

Guy Garcia: Female attitude and behavior has become more complex as women continue to rise as a gender. Their options in education, work and social life continue to expand, which has made their lives more fulfilling but also more complicated. As men’s social and employment options shrink, women are more and more likely to be a co-income contributor, or increasingly, the main breadwinner. As women become better educated and financially independent, the pool of men that they respect or deem worthy of being with will continue to shrink.


C: As per your novel, The Decline of Men, women have a better success rate when it comes to our modern day social structures (ironic as I believe it was men who created these norms). Do you feel that young men are doomed to be less successful than their female counterparts? Or is it the late 30 and 40 year old's of today who will fall victim to the societal changes of women? 

GG: First of all, The Decline of Men is non-fiction business/sociology. It’s true that women are better suited for the 21st century economy, which favors communication and people skills that give women an innate edge over men. In 2010, women outnumbered men in the workforce for the first time in U.S. history. Also, with women making up more than 60% of all college students in America, it’s only a matter of time before women pull ahead of men in terms of overall earning power. It is indeed ironic that the socio-economic structures that men built—and the very machines that make their muscles irrelevant and obsolete—no longer favor the male gender. The traditional definition of males and why they matter is obsolete and as a society we are still groping for what will replace it.


C: Men like the idea of me, but most don’t really like me. As a young, modern woman, my bold sexual presence excites men at first, but tends to leave them feeling disappointed later. Do you see men and women ever hitting equilibrium? Why does society tend to put us against each other?

GG: Society still tells men that they should be dominant, strong, decisive, etc.  In the workplace and public life, women were in a supportive role, although the female rule of domestic life had its own power. Now women are competing with men for jobs and socio-political clout, yet men have not replaced women as the domestic decider, which includes most household purchases.  Nowadays it’s little girls who are told they should grow up to be fearless, strong, smart, financially independent; as a gender they are in ascent, even as males stall or decline. Men will always be physically attracted to females, but their role in the relationship is no longer so clear. Some guys are ok in the supportive role, other are not. Some women are ok with men that are tame and submissive, but women of all ages complain to me that they can’t find “real guys.”  Guys used to use money and power to lure and impress women, now they use Axe and shave their bodies.  Leveraging physical attractiveness to balance power with the opposite sex is a strategy that men have learned from women.  A lot of young guys aren’t sure they can afford to pick up the dinner tab, let alone support a wife and family. As a result, the gratification of immediate pleasure replaces the rewards of long-term commitment.


C: From an early age the discussion of career and family seems to play a role in the conversations of young girls. Will society reach a point where both men and women will have the ‘choice’ to stay home with the kids or work, and why?

GG: Men are staying home now, but it’s not to raise the kids, it’s because they lost their jobs. In Sweden, the government is mandating maternity leave—paternity leave?—for men.  As women take on more demanding jobs we’ll see more gender-neutral flexibility in the workforce, but the percentage of guys who willingly take on roles previously delegated to women is still very small.  For now many women find themselves doing the work of both genders: holding down a job – and still making dinner, cleaning the house and making sure the kids have clean clothes for school, etc.  Telling guys that they are now free to be housewives is not very liberating; until a truly new definition of masculinity evolves to replace the outdated one, you’re going to see more male confusion, resentment and disengagement.


C: Do you believe that the future success of men is directly linked to the success of women? Or is the ‘decline of men’ a much larger statement about my generation as a whole?

GG: Men and women are inextricably linked. Their fates and desires are intertwined and always will be. Treating the genders as two separate entities misses the point. Half the population slacking off, losing its way and falling behind is a problem for society as a whole, and the solution will come only from men and women facing the facts and redefining the future together. The interesting question to me is: as women replace men in the upper echelons, will they keep the structures and systems built by males or transform them into something completely new and different?

Meet The Men of So I Met This Guy...

CLICK HERE

Everything you ever wanted to know about The Men in my life, can be discovered through our lusty affairs... Enjoy.

Are You Chloe?

Chloe is an educated, hard working, loving, sexual creature; who takes pride in everything she does.

She is the woman who defies expectations and societal norms in exchange for what feels right to her. She doesn’t judge others.

Chloe knows how to make herself happy and doesn't rely on others to enjoy life.

Chloe doesn't let the fear of failing stand in her way. She wants successes for herself and those around her.

Chloe takes the time to find the beauty in everyday. She knows loneliness and chose to fulfill herself, rather than wait for someone else to please her.

She wants to find her partner in crime, someone to push her to be the best she can; someone who she can push to be their best. The couple that no one can take their eyes off of because they make each other even better.

Chloe doesn't want everlasting passionate love, she wants someone who she respects and in turn who respects her. For Chloe, the most important thing is mutual respect and admiration. 

Chloe is the ability to be true to yourself, she is the voice of this generation, the marker of something much bigger. She is the new woman.

Chloe is the answer to the 'Sex and The City' generation before us.

Chloe is not only me, she is YOU.

Best Dressed: America's New 'IT' Color

Every click of a link, or flip of the magazine page we are bombarded with yet another, "BEST DRESSED" list and Vogue.com is no exception. Let's be real for .2 seconds; 'best dressed' has nothing to do with style and everything to do with status and fame.

Point in case, today on Vogue.com 'Best Dressed'; Lady Gaga ahead by 3000 votes, followed by Blake Lively (aka Gossip Girl) who's ahead by 600. Fashion darlings Alexa Chung and Liya Kebede are far more chic than say, M. Obama, yet trail way behind due to their lower celebrity ranking. 

Perhaps IMDB should get their star meter rankings from the best dressed lists? The only purpose for these seemingly useless polls is to allow readers to feel like their opinions matters. Listen, if your opinion actually mattered you'd be writing for the magazine, not reading it for tips on, 'How to Wear Red: Fall's IT Color'.

P.S. Fall 2010 is about the high-waisted, wide leg pant. Just saying.    

Picture 'Perfect'

I can't help but go crazy for artist, Michelle Thompson. Her combination of imagery, color, use of line and space, creates dynamic, three-dimensional visuals. Each piece poses a reflective and thoughtful answer to the questions about our society today. For your viewing pleasure, I've included a few of my favorites. (Anyone wanting to get me a holiday gift, I'll take one of each.) 

 

 

 

Mark My Word

You know he's good when it leaves a mark.

I could tell from the first time we’d fucked that he loved sex; though it appeared he’d never been with a woman who was open to exploring it. All that was about to change. 

The Brit and I had been between the sheets for hours, yet somehow I was craving more. We lay naked, our breath heavy and slow. I reached across his chest and dragged my nails over his skin. He was taken with me in every way, but most especially how I pushed him to explore sex. The Brit would spank me, and I could see his excitement rise. He’d grab my neck and squeeze tightly; he later confessed he’d never that done before, and how much he liked it.

I was half way out the door when I felt his hands on my waist. The Brit lifted me onto his kitchen table, pulled my lace La Perla thong to the side and devoured me, again. He ripped off the lace using his teeth and slid himself inside me, taking me harder than ever before. It felt amazing and even though I was going to be so late for drinks, I wanted him to keep going.

Pulling me off the table, he bent me over the grey leather couch. Ass in the air, he continued to work me until I let go.

I woke up the next morning with giant blue and purple marks across my lower back… If we were going to keep fucking in the kitchen, he was going to have to invest in a new table.

Give It To Me

Have you ever wanted a hand guided tour of your man's main squeeze? Well Coco De Mer wants to give you step by step guided instructions and SHOW you the way around.

This Monday, November 15th at 7PM Coco De Mer brings you their in-store salon, 'Playing His Flute Skin' where you can watch and learn exactly how to send your man up and over the edge of ecstasy.

For beginners and experts alike; I can think of no better way to spend a Monday night in... 

Just Can't Get Enough

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) has devised a master list of 20, yes or no, questions to see if you are sexually compulsive (A.K.A a sex addict). I found myself saying, 'Yes' to numbers 4 & 5... Let's see how sexually addicted you are.

According to the SCA, answering, 'Yes' to 3 or more questions means they might just need to tie you up; but let's be honest, who doesn't like being tied up every now and again?

The Twenty Questions

1. Do you frequently experience remorse, depression, or guilt about your sexual activity?
2. Do you feel your sexual drive and activity is getting out of control? Have you repeatedly tried to stop or reduce certain sexual behaviors, but inevitably you could not?
3. Are you unable to resist sexual advances, or turn down sexual propositions when offered?
4. Do you use sex to escape from uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, guilt, etc. which seem to disappear when the sexual obsession starts?
5. Do you spend excessive time obsessing about sex or engaged in sexual activity?
6. Have you neglected your family, friends, spouse or relationship because of the time you spend in sexual activity?
7. Do your sexual pursuits interfere with your work or professional development?
8. Is your sexual life secretive, a source of shame, and not in keeping with your values? Do you lie to others to cover up your sexual activity?
9. Are you afraid of sex? Do you avoid romantic and sexual relationships with others and restrict your sexual activity to fantasy, masturbation, and solitary or anonymous activity?
10. Are you increasingly unable to perform sexually without other stimuli such as pornography, videos, "poppers," drugs/alcohol, "toys," etc.?
11. Do you have to resort increasingly to abusive, humiliating, or painful sexual fantasies or behaviors to get sexually aroused?
12. Has your sexual activity prevented you from developing a close, loving relationship with a partner? Or, have you developed a pattern of intense romantic or sexual relationships that never seem to last once the excitement wears off?
13. Do you only have anonymous sex or one-night stands? Do you usually want to get away from your sexual partner after the encounter?
14. Do you have sex with people with whom you normally would not associate?
15. Do you frequent clubs, bars, adult bookstores, restrooms, parks and other public places in search of sexual partners?
16. Have you ever been arrested or placed yourself in legal jeopardy for your sexual activity?
17. Have you ever risked your physical health with exposure to sexually transmitted diseases by engaging in "unsafe" sexual activity?
18. Has the money you spent on pornography, videos, phone sex, or hustlers/prostitutes strained your financial resources?
19. Have people you trust expressed concern about your sexual activity?
20. Does life seem meaningless and hopeless without a romantic or sexual relationship?

NYC Branded Fucking; Push The Power Button

You can fuck 'NYC' approved... while supplies last.

A friendly neighborhood reminder that New Yorkers have 'the power' to prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections by, "pushing the power button" the newly chosen symbol found on each and everyone of the 10,000 FREE condoms the city will give out to honor the new design.

Power button-wrapped condoms can be found in your neighborhood nail salons, barbershops, bars and restaurants starting in mid-November, so get keep your eyes peeled starting NOW to score some. 

For questions on how to find these little treats, or questions on practicing safe sex, New Yorkers can call 311 or visit nyc.gov. 

Stay clean. -- Chloe xx

Trick or Treat?

Why is it that disgusting, creepy, old men always think it is totally okay to hit on girls half their age with twice the looks?

"I charge $100 for the first minute and $25 for each additional," my standard line when the creep can't take the hint to move on. Either way it works; they keep talking and I make some $$ or they shut up and go.

What tricks do you have up your designer clad sleeve?

Tip of The Week: Take Things as They Come

When a man calls your phone at 1:30AM, after more than a year sans communication, you know he is only interested in one thing. And seeing as we'd never had sex, I found myself taken aback when he began whispering dirty sentiments through the phone.

The following morning, in what was starting to feel like clockwork, the phone flashed his name across the screen. The Brit was not giving up easy. The words rolled off his tongue sending shivers throughout my body, making me ache to be touched, kissed and pulled apart.

"Rather than tell me what you want to do to me, why don't I hop into a taxi and you can just do it?" As fun as it was to hear about how hot I made him, I didn't want to talk; I wanted action.

The door to his Tribeca penthouse loft swung open; his lips immediately pressed against mine. His hands skimmed the sides of my waist and hips. Grabbing tightly, he threw me up against the wall and kissed my neck and shoulders.

The Brit grabbed my ass and lifted me up so my legs wrapped around his waist, then carried me to bed. After what felt like 12 hours of anticipation, he made me come once; then again, and again once more.

Not exactly what I had anticipated doing all Saturday afternoon; but hey, sometimes you just have to run with it.

Time Warp

They say that time heals everything, but as I sat next to The Ex I couldn’t help but think everything was exactly the same.

Not only had The Ex responded to my email to catch up, he invited himself to join me out for a drink right then and there. I guess he felt that coffee wasn’t adequate fuel for seeing an ex for the first time in years.

I sipped my Merlot and continued the polite conversation where The Ex and I caught up on life. Him, delicately navigating around the recent loss of his job and breakup with his girlfriend, while I tried not to sounds too accomplished or happy with everything I’d achieved since our split.
 
Last call had people rushing the bar and my friends, who had been sitting near by, invited us to join the midnight (aka 4AM) snack run. Walking in search of eats, the 5 of us turned into 4, and then 3, as people began to call it a night and head home. Down to me, my friend who I was crashing with, and The Ex, we reached the corner of our street. The Ex awkwardly invited me to his place, but I countered offered and invited him in to my friend’s.

The Ex and I sat on the couch; both of us waiting for what would be next. He was nervous; his heart pounding so hard, I swear I could see it moving. “I still fantasize about you… No one has ever made me feel the way you did,” he could hardly look at me as the words fell from his mouth. “Sex with you is like nothing else.” 

Caught off guard and totally unprepared to respond, I smiled and moved closer to him resting my head on his chest. With his arm around me, it felt like the clock had gone back in time to 3 years ago, when everything was perfect, when we were perfect.

His hands slid their way up my legs, over my body-skimming dress to my hipbone, then my waist. The Ex leaned in and kissed me, pulling me closer with each breath. His kiss was so familiar; it was wild. He could not control his self, pushing his hands up my skirt, trying desperately to remove my clothes. The energy between us was wild and totally unexpected. We had been so great together, so fucking great. And this kissing while in each other’s arms was just a big reminder of all the amazing things we’d had together.

The Ex couldn’t stop. He kept looking at me, a hunger in his eyes, telling me how sexy I was, how he desired me. We had to stop, but we couldn’t. His lips pressed against the skin of my neck, his tongue pushed inside my ear as his fingers slid deep inside me forced me to cum.

“You should go,” I whispered between inhales. I had no idea what just happened, but I needed him to leave before I could have sex with him; my will power was at an all time low. The sound of the door locking as it closed behind him hit me hard.

What the fuck had I just got myself into?

Tip of The Week: Breathing is Overrated

We go through life unconscious, saying what we are supposed to say, behaving as we are told to behave.

How many times a day does a complete stranger utter the phrase, "Hi, how are you?" It seems simple and innocent enough, but why have we been trained to ask people such an invasive question, when we could really care less about their answer? Is it so difficult for people to just greet each other with a simple, 'Hello'?

I used to grin and bear it, responding with something equally predictable and inconsequential, until a particularly low evening when I chose a more suitable quip. Rather than conform to something socially accepted and expected, I chose to say what was really on my mind, "My day has been complete shit, thanks for asking."

Stunned by my brutal honestly and refute to play the game that was set out for us, the sales clerk turned a lovely shade of pink and began to mumble inaudibly.

Unless you really want to know the answer to a question, do everyone a favor and save your breath.

The EX Factor

Life. You cannot control what happens; no matter how high the high, the only place to go is down.

We’d been dating two years, 18 months were spent living together. We were that couple everyone wanted to be. Physically and esthetically complimentary to one another; we made each other better in every way. I had found him, my partner in crime, and it changed everything.

When I moved to New York we were still dating, but as the black sedan pulled away from our place I knew deep down it would be the last time I would see him. A couple of weeks later our relationship ended.

The fantasy was finished. Everything had been turned upside down in an instant; moving away only made it all the more clear. It was over and I haven’t looked back since, until now. 

Let’s call him The Ex.

Years had gone by, two and a half to be exact, and not one word, email, or text message had passed between us. When it’s over it’s over; I had never been one to dwell on the past.

When I arrived back to the ‘scene of the crime’ to cover an event for an international publication, the last thing I expected was to see him; we had been so good at avoiding each other for so long. 

Never having kept in touch with an ex boyfriend, something made me want to change that. Even though The Ex broke my heart and made me question everything I thought I knew about love, I didn’t hate him. Why couldn’t we be friends? I emailed him. Just a few words, a peace offering and the suggestion to grab a coffee while I was in town. To my surprise, he responded.

And that is when everything changed.

Tip of The Week: Pillow Talk

Knowing your limit is of the upmost importance. Every now and again the party comes at you hard and you find yourself having too much fun to say no.

I'd been going strong since the half bottle of champagne consumed at dinner. The East Village hotel bar was packed, as per the Thursday night ritual, and shots of Patron were free flowing. I grabbed my friends arm, a look of horror across my face, "My Phone!"

Once said phone had been recovered, the kind server on the patio had rescued it from the darkness, we were back to the bar. It was the deadly combination of vodka, shots of espresso, mixed with god only knows what else that finally took me down.

Entering the bathroom stall, I felt as though I may be sick. Minutes later it came to me, the 'perfect' plan; I wasn't sick... I was just in need of a quick nap!

How to Nap Like a Pro 

In my drunken state I felt that the toilet was kind of gross and best not lean against it. Rather than taking this as a sign that I should be going home to bed, I used an entire roll of toilet paper and fashioned myself a massive pillow. Proud of my 'smart move', I was ready to catch some shut-eye.

The hard floor caused my sandal to dig into my ankle; it was most uncomfortable so in order to better enjoy my nap I removed the sandal.

Get ready for it, the full visual; legs sticking out of the stall, one shoe on, one shoe off. Beautiful girl sleeps with her head against the toilet, all while clutching a massive toilet paper pillow.

Note: When you are massively drunk, there is no such thing as the perfect idea.

 

Trading Up?

It’s not everyday that a man has the balls to write his number on your menu and tell you to call him. So when the handsome guy at the table over did, I was immediately intrigued. 

Fast-forward one week, the handsome guy from the restaurant had invited me for drinks. True to my workaholic form, I only had Tuesday at 11:30PM available. He seemed surprised, or perhaps discouraged by my rigid schedule but agreed to meet me anyhow. 


Let’s call him, The Trader.

Leaning against the black granite bar of my go-to spot, The Summit Bar, I gave my date the once-over. Tall, with dirty blond hair, his suit was cut slim enough to indicate he had a sense of style and his shoes were inoffensive (I don’t ask for much, just don’t offend me with your clothing). 

We made our way to the back couches and without my alcohol-induced haze I couldn’t help but notice how young he looked. Bored with the typical ‘first date’ niceties I began to grill him with questions; sometimes a girl just needs to have a little fun.

Through an intense round of questioning, The Trader let slip that he'd had half the summer off. I looked at him quizzically, demanding to know just how exactly someone in New York City had more than a month of vacation time?

He looked slightly embarrassed before coming clean; he had just graduated from college. I almost died; it was too much; he was practically a child. Not that I am much older, but still... The last person I slept with is double his age. DOUBLE!

Not to be ageist, but really. Torn on whether or not he’d seen the horror flash across my face, I decided to stay and humor him.

Poor kid has no idea what he just got himself into.

Tip of The Week: O'Donnell's Opinion

Am I the only person who finds it ironic that Republican Candidate for the US Senate, Christine O’Donnell was born in 1969 and has most likely never even tried to 69? Or wait, perhaps it was like her bout with Witchcraft and was just something she experimented with in college…

Either way, O’Donnell has taken a strong public stance against masturbation and ‘lust’ in hopes of drawing attention to her political agenda. Unfortunately O’Donnell doesn’t seem to have a political agenda, but rather just a religious one.

I don’t quite understand the point of openly judging everyone in the world who does not agree with her views? If Christine O’Donnell doesn’t like lustful sex because God told her not to, that is fine with me; I’m not the one missing out, she is. In no way is it any of my business to tell Christine O’Donnell that she should like sex, however I feel totally within my limits to give her some advice:

Be Professional. As someone who plans on living a life of ‘public service’ it would be helpful to note that the church and state are celebrating their 219th anniversary of separation. Don’t bring your personal problems with masturbation to work. 

Take What You Can Get. Stop denying that the 1996 hit film, The Craft was based on your college experiments with Witchcraft. It’s clear you love to exploit your past to gain attention.

It’s Not What You Wear, But What You Say. There are many great political leaders you can look to for ways to stop embarrassing yourself. Hilary Rodham Clinton is a perfect example of a great woman who, even though you may disagree with her ideas, demands the respect of the public. She is well spoken and prepared for her interviews and debates. Regardless if you like her or not, you’ll have an easier time digging up dirt on her bad outfit choices than you will trying to find an embarrassing interview. 

Perhaps if Christine O’Donnell started worrying more about what she was going to say during her next interview rather than on masturbating she would be in better shape. I say release that sexual tension; maybe she’ll finally be able to use that thing in between her ears (scientists call it a brain) to form some useful and relevant thoughts.

Guest Blogger: Sophie

 "As most of you know, I'm not the only woman who likes sex the way I do. If you are a women reading this right now, you probably relate to my stories and adventures in one way or another. Every now and again I'll be turning over the reins to a guest blogger. Today please meet Sophie." 
- Chloe Is My Alias

State of Affairs

Edited by Chloe Is My Alias

I hadn’t seen him in more than ten years. He was my college sweetheart, the one that ‘got away’. After weeks of intense emails and calls, the anticipation of finally meeting was killing us both.

His initials? CPG.

I was 5 minutes from the midtown lunch spot he had selected to meet when I got his text “where are you?” It was flattering to know he was as anxious to see me, as I was to see him.

Sliding my coat off my shoulders to reveal my favorite low cut black wrap dress; I handed it to the hostess and glanced over to the bar to see him watching my every move. Nothing had changed, butterflies in my stomach, knees weak, just like the first time we had met. CPG got up from the bar and came over, kissing my cheek as he whispered in my ear “Damn, you haven’t changed a bit.”

We were escorted to a corner booth and the server brought over a glass of my favorite Shiraz, he had remembered after all these years and I was instantly smitten all over again. We felt like teenagers, trying to catch up on our lives and conveniently skimming the obvious topics of his wife and children. CGP looked amazing; my whole body started to shake when he ran his hand up my thigh and under my dress. I couldn’t help but think, “this is what corner booths were made for.”

We left the restaurant and he slid his hand around my waist pulling me in for one of those kisses that instantly make you wet. I nibbled on his ear and told him to bring me to the hotel around the corner; that was all it took.

The elevator ride to the room was a blur; we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. We entered the room and I pinned him up against the wall, unbuttoning his shirt, running my hands all over his chest and I working my way down until I was on my knees. CPG pulled my hair back watching me lick him.  He was the only man that knew how to get me off and I was full of anticipation, knowing full well it would be an afternoon of pure pleasure.

Desired Distraction

Terrible news has a way of creeping up on you. When I called to catch up with a friend she had news and not the kind I was expecting. Our friend is a heroin addict. He’s 20.

My heart sunk deep into my chest; the pain he must have felt to turn to something like heroin, I can empathize. What has me so shaken is quite simple and scares me more than anything. This can happen to anyone and no one saw it coming.

There is a pain so deep you’d do anything to end. Lying on the ground, sobbing, you barely make a sound. You want to feel safe; you want it all to just be okay. Helplessness washes over you, making you feel weak and alone, which in turn makes you feel scared.

Worse than the pain is the inability to end it, make it stop. Progressively getting worse, you get to a point where you feel crippled by life, as life it’s self causes the pain.

So many nights and days were spent dealing with pain. So many pills popped, joints smoked and knives dragged through layers of flesh in hopes of finding a distraction. It’s not that I ever wanted to die; I was just too tired to keep living.

I first fell in love with sex when I realized it was the only time I wasn’t in pain. Closing my eyes and letting waves of pleasure rush over me; sex was and still is like meditation. Everything bad in life falls to the side, nothing matters except the physical pleasure in that moment.

For me sex is not about love it’s an escape. It requires no thought and has no meaning when it’s done and over. People seem to think there is deeper meaning to the pleasure derived through sex; as a society we are consumed with finding deeper meanings and refuse to just let things be.

No longer in pain, I still see sex as just that, sex. The world is constantly shown in a picture perfect way, a set of ideals that my life is unable to live up to. The ideals others push onto society; inadequacy seeping through and everyday trying to keep up with what ‘they’ say is right.

We live in a world that promotes compliance, not questions. Ignorance really is bliss, but I was never one to be ignorant. Once you open yourself up to understanding, you can never go back.

Sex is still an escape and distraction from the world. That pain that overwhelmed me on so many occasions is gone as I no longer worry about fitting the cookie-cutter mold that is our societies expectations. I can only hope my friend can find strength to look beyond what people tell us to see and figure out what everything means for him.   
 

Tip of The Week: Favre Gets Freaky

 
In case you live under a rock, former New York Jet's quarterback Brett Favre has been accused of sexually harassing former colleague, sideline hostess, Jenn Sterger. If you seriously don’t know what I am talking about there's this thing called ‘Google’ and I hear it’s pretty good.

Let me be frank, sexual harassment is not a joke. The way Streger’s PR team has allowed this story to be told is simply embarrassing, making a mockery of their client and all women who have suffered sexual harassment.

By refusing to comment, Sterger was most likely hoping to avoid the whispers of ‘attention whore’ that the media were sure to slur. Wakeup and read the papers Jenn they are saying it anyhow.

With little information about what actually occurred between Favre and Sterger, I wanted to take this opportunity to personally reach out to them both with a little Chloe advice.

Grow some balls. Favre, if you want to ask a girl out just walk up and ask her in person, don’t keep calling and leaving messages. Sterger, if a man keeps calling, try answering your phone and tell him you are totally flattered but you have a rule about dating people in your working environment.

Take a fucking hint. Favre, if she doesn’t answer after the third message it means not interested (read: this does not mean send her naked pictures of your penis). Sterger, after voice mail  number three you may have noticed his level of determination. When the phone rings, answer it! By laying down the law one can prevent creepy penis photos!

Hire the best PR Team. Favre, get someone on your side to maximize all front page opportunities coming your way; it will probably be the last time you get this much press. Sterger, strategy is everything when it comes to a situation like this. Decide your angle and get the best in the business on your side. 

Sterger’s current PR team does not appear to have a clue what their angle is. Are they trying to promote women’s rights? Are they seeking retribution for Sterger by making Favre look bad? Are they hoping to inspire women to stand up to sexual harassment? (I sure hope it’s not the latter, as so far the media isn’t painting the most flattering picture of the victim).

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, be straightforward about it. If they persist, take action. Simple. The only person that can stand up for you is you.

GLOSSY MAGAZINE FEATURE

I've always had a thing for Britts, so when UK fashion mag GLOSSY asked me to speak my mind it was hard to resist.

 
Check out the full interview HERE
or get the preview HERE

Reality Check

 

Everyone wants to know, ‘Who is the real Chloe?’ Sit back and listen because I am about to tell you.

There is nothing more real than being 5 years old and having to explain to your friend why your parents are fighting. There is nothing more real than having your high school crush die of a heart attack, when you are still in high school. There is nothing more real than losing your role model in a car accident and having two friends murdered by the time you are half way through your first year of university. There is nothing more real than your family losing their fortune and being told, ‘you should have had more.’

There is nothing more real, than real life.

I never understood why I had to go through so many traumatizing things. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. I do know that everything in my past has made me exactly who I am at this moment, and as much as it nearly killed me to get here, I am happy with the person I have become.

We sat on the black leather stools at the bar. The Editor was high, the drugs racing through his veins.  My hands were shaking as I attempted a sip of vodka. I had never seen him like this; he was stumbling, stuttering and slurring.

He looked at me and I finally asked the question we both knew was coming, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Looking downward he shrugged, for the first time since we’d met he seemed at a loss for words. “I didn’t want you to be mad.” I was in shock. Mad!? Was he serious? How on earth do you get mad at someone for having an addiction? I kissed his lips, feeling his hands tighten around my waist. We stood at the bar, arms around each other; the room was full of the usual Monday night bar crowd but it felt like it was just the two of us there.

It broke my heart to hear his response. Why are people so consumed with judging others for their actions? There was obviously something he could not cope with if he turned to drugs in such a way. We stood with our bodies pressed together and I knew it would be the last time I saw him. All I could do was be there for him, but first he needed to be there for himself.

Good Vibrations

"Your ass is not a cul-de-sac, things can get lost up there!" My girlfriend was laughing as she recounted her disaster of a morning. Still half asleep, my eyes flickered open as she continued; a horrifying story about a mini  pocket-rocket lodged (and then lost) you know where...

I absolutely adore that my friends call me with their madness, fully knowing I will never make them feel embarrassed or ashamed. People spend too much time worrying about how others will receive them; they forget to focus on how something makes them feel.

Everyday, everything I do is for me. I do not worry about pleasing others, or meeting any expectations other than my own. Let go of what people told you to think and start thinking for yourself. Know that if you want to make something happen you can and don't let anything or anyone stand in your way. 

Working Girl

Iron Man was back in New York, The Firefighter was emailing me out of the blue and The Director was sending scandalous texts. All the while I fantasized about my next meeting with The Business Man. What next, The Editor was going to crawl out of rehab? Ahh-hem, I mean, the woodwork?

My phone was blowing up, handsome, sexy, stylish men all eager to please. Even with all my options, The Business Man was the only one I cared to hear from. It’s rare to find a man that ‘gets’ you and still fully wants you; I had found one and now he was all I could think about.

My fantasies were running wild and my real life was eager to catch up. I’d imagine us lying in bed facing each other, our bodies pressed together. He would have his hands on my hips, moving them over my ass, pulling me closer so I could feel how excited he was. Our lips would touch and we’d kiss slowly savoring every second until we couldn’t take it another minute.

The Business Man would push me onto my back and force my legs apart, pushing himself inside me. Moaning uncontrollably, I would dig my nails into his shoulders, begging him to take me harder. We’d tease each other until we both let go and devoured one another. Breathless and exhausted we’d lay in bed until we couldn’t stand the thought of not fucking again.

The vibration from my Blackberry snapped me back to reality. In bed alone, I read his message which put a smile on my lips; The Business Man was not only scoring points as my leading fantasy man but his messages made me want him even more.

Putting my phone down I let out a sigh, exhausted from allowing my mind to run wild.With just a second before my morning conference call I had just enough time to catch my breath and dial in. The dial tone clicked in and it was hard not to laugh to myself; if only the people on the other line knew what I had been up to in preparation for the call.

Not exactly the due diligence they probably had in mind.

Tip of The Week: The Guy is a total BONER

It's most unpleasant to be in a situations where The Guy is complaining (read: mentions it at all) that condoms are expensive. Never having a problem handling this myself, I realized that other women do; hence my new Monday endeavor, "Tip of The Week".

If The Guy mentions the cost of condoms, I tend to look overly annoyed and say, "I'm sorry, I thought you liked that we had lots of sex... Besides, child support costs way more than that." 

At this point, unless the sex is really fantastic I would usually get up and walk away. If the sex is really amazing, I'd consider taking him one last time before abandoning ship.

GUEST BLOGGER - DESIREE

"As most of you know, I am not the only woman who thinks about sex like I do. In fact if you are a women and reading this right now, you probably relate to my stories and adventures in one way or another. Every now and again I am going to be turning over the reins to a guest blogger and today is the first. Let's Call her Desiree. " - Chloe Is My Alias

Filled with Desire
Edited by Chloe Is My Alias 

I don't believe in dating, especially the online kind. That being said, for me Facebook is a whole different story.

He was handsome enough to the point I really thought he could be gay, so when he asked to meet for a drink to discuss business there was no reason to say no, even if the whole thing was via instant messenger on Facebook. We met two days later at my favorite LES bar.

The place was mobbed as usual and I headed for the bar. Dressed all in black, a leather jacket and leather boots; I could have passed for having my bike parked outside.

Leaning against the bar I let him admire the way my dark jeans made my ass look even more round and perfect; he recognized me right away and called out my name. I glanced to my left; he was sitting, dressed in motorbike gear too. Let’s call him BFE.

It took one drink and 20 minutes to know that we had to have each other, right there, right then.

We left the bar; I had an event and as neither of us had any intention on going home alone, I asked him to join me. We kissed feverishly at the corner of the street; BFE grabbed my hair and pulled hard. I could feel how badly he wanted me.

At the event we tucked ourselves into a dark corner. Standing in the shadow I ran my leg up and down the inside of his, just barely grazing the edge of his crotch. I dug my tongue deep into his throat and could feel him grow even bigger.

He had me wild; my heart was pounding and I was feeling hot. I had to have him, right now.

Grabbing his hand I led him through the exit, the cold spring air hit us hard, but nothing could cool us off. Around the corner he pushed me into the entranceway of an old building.

Unzipping his pants BFE then pushed me down on him. He was even bigger than I had thought and with every lick and suck he grew even more. The way he tasted, I couldn’t get enough of him. 

Just as he was ready to explode deep into my throat, we heard someone coming down the stairs. BFE grabbed me by my throat and with his strong hand pulled me up off the ground. Pinned between him and the wall we starred deep into each other’s eyes. Without so much as a word I left.  A taxi had pulled around the corner and I jumped in, leaving him there in the dark corner full of unsatisfied desire.

My breath was heavy in the car ride home; I could only imagine what was going to happen when I saw him next. 

Business with Pleasure

Every so often you’ll meet someone and there is this unspoken understanding that you both want each other; nothing is going to come between you and ripping your clothes off. 

We sat across from each other on the back patio at The Bowery Hotel discussing business; he was the key piece to getting this charity project to the next level and I wasn’t taking no for an answer. Let's call him The Business Man.

There was something about the way he looked at me when I spoke that turned me on like nothing else; it make me want to lean across the table, slide my hands up his thighs and kiss him. It took every ounce of will power not to slide my tongue through his lips, grazing my teeth over his tongue; kissing him so deeply. 

I was aching to feel his hands pulling me closer, touching my hair, my legs and my waist. His hands looked amazing; I wanted them all over me, I wanted his fingers pushing inside me. I wanted him to bring me over the edge right then and there.

His voice snapped me back to reality; he was agreeing to take on the project. We clinked our glasses and I took an extra long sip, eyeing him over the top of my flute. I couldn’t help myself; I had to have him.

“Now that we have the business out of the way, would it be terrible if I kissed you right now?” The Business Man grinned and motioned me to come closer.

I couldn’t wait see if his kiss was as delicious as I had imagined and if his hands were as good.

A Preview of Next Week...

For most people summer is a time where they let go of their cares, inhibitions and worries; it’s a free for all fuck-fest that usually ends when the first cold breeze sweeps across our fair city post Labor Day weekend. For me this summer was anything but and I found myself sticking with the tried and true; The Photographer, as well as that brief stint with Dating Guy… which was only for a hot second and let’s be honest, it wasn’t that hot. 

The point? I was in need of living it up again; letting go of the worries The Editor had caused me all July and August. There was a secret new man I had my eye on and it was my intention to have my way with him, but not before The Photographer and I finally had the threesome we had desired all summer...

Stay-tuned next week to see how ends. 

Painful Pleasure

Fucking is for fucking’s sake. 

                     - Northrop Frye

His hands were holding me down, gripping my wrists so tightly that the tips of my fingers began to pulse. “Harder,” I begged for more.

He pushed deeper inside me and tightened his grip. I loved when it hurt a bit; the good hurt, like when you get a massage and it’s painful in the best way. We’ve been fucking for more than two years and The Photographer knew exactly what to do to make me scream with pleasure.

Pushing him off me, I straddled his hips and lowered my self down half way, teasing him mercilessly. I love putting him through agony and ecstasy at the same time, making him ache to feel all of me; pull at my hips and groan in anticipation. 

Placing his hand around my neck I demand that he hold tightly and he does. Squeezing each breath shorter and shorter until my head gets light, above all other things turns me on most and I have no idea why. There is something sexy about having the air squeezed from your body by someone while they are deep inside you.

The Photographer spanked my ass hard and I tried to scream but with his hands gripping my neck so tightly it was nearly impossible. I was so close to letting go, but didn’t want to cum yet.

I glanced up and grinned, “You can take me any way you like.”

But first I wanted to taste him, every inch of him. Going down on him gets me turned on. Feeling him harden more with every lick, every touch and my warm breath makes me want to suck harder and push him deeper into my throat until I can barely handle it.

We take each other until he pushes me off. He gets so turned on by our sex that he has to stop as not to cum; and when he eventually does he stays rock hard, physically ready to go again, mentally preparing to head home to the real world where he lays in bed dreaming of sex rather than having it.

I lay on my back and he takes the red toy in hand. Covering it in lube he slides it into my ass, then slides himself inside me again. The pressure of double penetration is intense but I love it. He slides the toy in and out of me and it sends waves of pleasure throughout my body.

The Photographer is obsessed with the idea of fucking my ass; we’d done it once before, but he is so hard that the past few times we tried it has been much too painful and NOT in the good kind of way.

He had warmed me up with the toy and now I was ready for him...

Chloe Does New York Fashion Week:

ALEXANDER WANG

Asymmetry to a whole new level; adore. White, sheer, splashes of metallic, the collection was a lighter version of traditional athletic-wear. It was revealing in a sexy understated way through sheer fabrics and unique and unexpected cutouts. Wang, we heart you.

ALTUZURA

Love the boob trend going on, love the asymmetry, not into the fit. Clothes should always fit the models; if it doesn’t fit a model, it sure isn’t going to fit a real person!

CYNTHIA ROWLEY

For me it was all about the wide silk trouser and the sheer ‘sweaters’, nothing revolutionary but a delicate elegance non-the-less.

EDUN

Snakeskin print is one of the most difficult prints to execute and this sustainable label cracked it out in an impressive way. Shown as an asymmetrical leather skirt and shorts romper which I fell in love with, as well as less impressively a long flowing day dress. I cannot say that the styling was my favorite; however there were other stand out pieces such as a sleeveless trench coat and a metallic round shoulder, boxy fit blazer, which I would be quite happy to own.

JASON WU

Very Oscar-esque and beautiful, sheer tops paired with everything. The turbans took me back to Prada circa 2007 but did add a wonderful splash of color to an otherwise neutral pallet. 

JUAN CARLOS OBANDO

Silk 1950’s inspired dresses with full skirts, cut far too many inches above the knee to ever be worn in the 1950’s, were shown in the most beautiful tie-dyed colors; sky blue twisted with pink, stormy gray woven through lavender and leafy green mixed with forest green. The structured silk taffeta was shown as a structured evening blazer paired with a long flowing chiffon skirt. The cutout trend was carried out in a major way on dresses, skirts and pants. A favorite look was a black long sleeve cutout shirt, paired with silver silk flared trousers. Very 1960’s and very chic.

OHNE TITEL

Loved the soft flowing silk paired with hard stiff leather details. The athletic inspired collection was still very much feminine, but the stronger more kick-ass kind. The leather came in forms of pockets, bodices and bodysuits. The lip was orange, a big spring trend on many of the runways; although it seemed to make even more sense here as the color pallet featured its complimentary color, indigo. After seeing the collection you can’t help but want to ‘be that girl’. 

ORGANIC

The butter suit has to be a favorite look for the season. Loved the color pallet, neutrals with the right amount of juxtaposing color. Sheer hidden-button, sleeveless blouses were an important piece that can definitely be worn on and off the runway with ease. The coats and jackets were particularly beautiful and wearable. The stone anorak, linen trench and silk double-breasted blazer are my personal favorites; I intend to own all three by the time next summer rolls around. **Note the shoes by Dieppa Restrepo, they are amazing. 

PHILOSOPHY

The collection was undoubtedly beautiful. When it came to the trend, truth be told I get it; no need to beat me over the head with it. The pattern design was unbelievable; the way each piece was cut to maximize the beauty of the fabrication is something only the most talented design team could pull off. The painted straw hats were also a favorite item for me, I have been dying over it since my trip to Hong Kong last year. The one question that was left unanswered? What on earth was that trench coat doing in the show? Talk about ‘Cheese stands alone!’

PRABAL GURUNG

Color. Asymmetry. Cutouts. The silhouette was all about the new length, mid-calf. Backless and cutout-back eveningwear in bright colors stole the show. Loved the hair and makeup, thick white eyeliner paired with a dusty white shadow applied on and below the eye created a balanced look to the color pallet. Ponytails with leather detail made it modern and touched on the dominatrix-y trend seen in many shows.

RAG & BONE

Ob-fucking-sessed. Where to begin… Metallic. And not just in the details, but tops, pants and skirts. This space-aged looking fabric was finished with soft girly details. A lingerie trend seemed to take over the show, but not in the traditional way; this time sporty-dominatrix-esque pieces could be seen under blazers, over dresses and peaking out from beneath sheer shorts and skirts. The backpack made a return appearance and fit in perfectly with the sport inspired lingerie straps. The shorts were short, the skirt long, and everything beautiful. Orange played an important role along side the otherwise neutral and metallic pallet.

SUNO

A huge trend popping up this season is a the super short, shorts suit. Suno put their expert pattern-mixing twist on it, as usual and showed it on one of my favorite models this season, Mariana. Delicate raw edged lace shorts and a tiered floor length cotton dress were shown with piles and piles of Lizzie Fortunato’s jewels. I’ve already placed my jewelry order, now I know what I will be wearing it with! 

VENA CAVA

Adored the orange lips and turban-esque headbands; after all, orange is my power color. The double necklines on the flowing dresses seemed to be on point with the cutout trend. The stone colored shorts romper was a standout favorite piece.